dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

On bitten phone books and exploding mothers.

I'd like to get back to the collision of reality with the image the Pattersons have of themselves; what generally happens when a Foob is shown that other people see him or her the way he or she is instead of what he or she believes he or she is, the reaction is never good. As an example, let's remember that Elly considers herself to be a loving, understanding, attentive, firm, even-tempered, fair and patient parent. The reality that we and her children see is a fractious, vindictive, negligent, short-tempered, belligerent, shouting mess who twists everything her children say or do into not only something bad but as a lead-in to an angry tirade about how ill-used she is and how selfish they are. The one thing that can be counted on to provoke this reaction is when a child asks when the boring lecture that has nothing to do with what's really going on will get over with.

Where this failure to formulate an accurate self-concept fails her the most, of course, is that she genuinely does want to be a responsible parent; we do know that she wants so very badly for her children to trust her and be able to come to her with their concerns and it mystifies her that her children do not think of her as being a potential confidant but as someone who can't wait to misinterpret things in the worst possible light so she can start an argument and get her idiot husband to bully the child into apologizing for an offense that only exists in her victimism-filled brain.

Another thing that escapes her is that the end result of years of being subjected to her whining about how selfish they are and how badly off she is and similar nonsense is that it doesn't do wonders for their self-esteem; the defiance, the anxiety, the claims that her default attitude is a hostile disinterest in her children's needs seem to come from nowhere because she can't see what she does or who she is.

Her dubious parenting, of course, is a subset of a wider problem that she has; every so often, she'll hear someone describe her as being a thin-skinned blowhard who'd rather blow up and scream in blind rage than listen; since she doesn't want to admit that she's filled with misdirected anger, she's baffled by this.
Tags: elly: lynn's fantasy self
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