Contrast this approach to things with the way Elly did things and you'll quickly see why she spends most of her time wondering why people never come to her with a problem despite her incessant reassurances that she'll hear them out and not lose her temper. Simply put, it's impossible to have a rational conversation with Elly on anything; her inattention to her surroundings, her default assumption that everyone wants to destroy her, her insistence on taking everything people say in the worst possible light and her need to save face and not admit to ignorance or error sort of mandate that the ugly way in which she handled herself is the only way she could do so. Instead of being a positive influence on the situation, she became a hindrance to overcome and a fatuous dimwit to be ignored; what's worse, her need to not remember the past lest she do something risky like actually listen instead of flipping out over nothing meant that she was primed to have another panic attack.
The next, more successful campaign to impose her idiocy on her family, started out when she had a screaming fit because April wanted to wear the sort of clothing that reminded her of all the girls with the body and the language whose fashion sense and "raw sexuality" (in English, we call it "not looking like a sack of potatoes wearing a dress") ensured that she spent her teenaged years alone and unwanted. The fact that she was a repellant know-it-all who spent her life frowning when the not-nearly-as-trampy-as-her-dowdy-brain-m