dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Why the Pattersons REALLY shouldn't have pets.

One of the things that most likely fail to endear the Pattersons to their neighbors is the annoying fact that they let their lumbering idiot of a dog roam around unsupervised getting into all manner of mischief; when questioned about it, the husband seems to be a stone colossus of idiocy who cannot see any point that doesn't begin and end with his being in the right and the wife simply stands there jabbing her finger in the air ranting like a maniac about how it's magically the dog's fault she's lazy and inattentive. Since most people don't like bashing their brains out against the obdurate stone that is the Pattersons' jackassery, they quickly disengage in the spirit of letting the stupid babies have their bottle.

This habit John has of never allowing himself to think that he, Mister King Train Man DDS, has ever been unfair, unkind, unfeeling or incorrect about anything more or less makes sure that he does something else that loses friends and alienates neighbors: blaming the dog for his own hapless incompetence. Since he can't be in the wrong and something wrong did happen, it only stands to perverted reason that it must be the dog's fault. What the smug dolt doesn't realize is that people have correctly identified him as someone to avoid because a normal person can only stand so much repulsive vanity without wanting to smash his smug face in with a ratchet; the need most people have to avoid toxic nitwits like Train Douche is seen by him as a sign that he's surrounded by stuck-up people.

The same need to see herself as surrounded by the unsympathetic also animates Elly; where she differs is why this is; instead of assuming that she's right about everything and acting accordingly, our hero lives in fear of admitting to being in the wrong. Since she needs to silence a voice John killed long ago that tells her that she doesn't know what she's doing, she has to blame the victims of her idiocy for her incompetence; when told that that's kinda self-serving of her, she explodes and whines about how everyone is mean to her.

What really bothers most people, though, is that the only comeuppance this repulsive pair of twits will ever get is dying of a lingering. debilitating and painful illness owing to a lifetime of piss poor eating habits, sedentary living and dubious genetics. Children and pets can wander the streets at will, perfectly good building lots that could be converted into homes for families in need are marred by model train layouts to sate the needs of an immature fool, yards can be littered with junk, eyesore weddings can be visited on an unhappy world but nothing like justice is seen to occur. This means that the only real consolation people will ever have is outliving worthless vermin like John and Elly
Tags: ogres are us

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