One of the things that they don't talk about but think they have is about how hard the other person works. John, as we've seen, has no idea that he's married a woman burdened with a severe obsessive-compulsive disorder, short-term memory problems, poor organization skills and a need to be thought well of nor does he realize that the toxic stew of character flaws she struggles with leaves her hors de combat after a day of backbreaking toil; since he has it in his head that Elly is lazy, that's all he can see. As she says, the only time he notices that she does anything is when she doesn't do it.
What she doesn't see is that John works even harder than she does; in her mind, the job that puts carrot coins on the table is a cakewalk next to doing ninety jillion loads of laundry a day instead of a back-breaking, exacting, boring, nerve-wracking toil that leaves him wiped out at the end of the day. Since she doesn't want to know this, she doesn't admit that maybe he does have certain cause to want to sit down for a bit. Granted, he shouldn't use it as an excuse to stick her with everything because he thinks that she's a slacker but if they were to talk to instead of at one another, we could have seen her get him to help out without resorting to tears.