dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Casablankstare: The Curious Adventures of Literal-minded Lizzie.....

To continue on with why the Patterson children struggle with their homework, I'd like to take a look at why Liz is a bit of a failure as a student; we already know that Mike is lazy, stubborn and convinced that his teachers are angling to get a lot of fun making a fool out of him and Lizzie thinks along the same lines but there is a difference between them. It has to do with the old saying about how if a man wants to know what his wife will be like in a few years, he should take a good long look at that woman's mother.

What this means that Anthony not only screwed up the only hope he had of making something of himself to marry a screeching, passive-aggressive hysteric with an ever-expanding ass, he also traded a clever woman for a knuckle-dragging moron with even less of an imagination than he has. Just as Liz spent her life trying to find a version of her asshole dad that she could legally sleep with, he seems to have spent his own life trying to grab onto a dunce he could dominate intellectually.

In this, he is in exactly the same boat as John. That's because we all know that Elly is capable of achievements in idiocy like this:

  • John called me his little pumpkin.
  • Pumpkins are round.
  • He must think that I am also round.
  • This must mean that he's lying when he doesn't mean to say that I'm fat.

Given that Elly spends a lot of her time not wanting to be reassured, this means that her signature facial expression is an open-mouthed yell of disproportionate rage; Liz will do so in the fullness of time but for right now, the facial expression I associate with her is a blank-eyed frown when confronted with life's demands. No matter what is asked of her, she plods stupidly on not knowing what's going on around her because she's too passive and dim to ask the sort of questions her parents fear having to answer.

Not only does this sort of mess her up scholastically and hold her back socially, her inability to pick up on obvious social cues meant that most of the first few months of her dalliance with Anthony were spent watching her frown an oblivious frown when confronted with the possibility that she inspired 'hormone attacks' in the little jerk.

Not, of course, that she sees it that way; just as Elly thinks of herself as loving, fair, firm and honest, the passive, vapid ditz Liz tells all who'll listen that she's a take-charge woman who can see things coming for miles.
Tags: child rearing disasters, liz: whining martyr, one big oblivious family

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