dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

The Settlepocalypse three years later.....

As I type this, it's been three years since Liz and Anthony rushed to Jim's hospital room to receive fortune cookie wisdom from Iris; it's also been three years after Lynn decided that the story came to a complete halt because both of the children who have horses John and Elly can actually own got married. If you'll indulge me, I'd like to raise the curtain back up and show you what I think a typical day in Liz Caine's life is most likely to be like.

We begin the day, of course, with Liz and Anthony crawling out of bed looking like a couple of zombies; Anthony's face is covered in stubble that it would take a normal person a week to accumulate and Liz is in a flannel nightie despite the punishing heat because she wants to discourage the sex that horrifies her. It should also be noted that despite being in their early thirties, the two of them look like a very old forty five at the best of times; Liz is, if not fat, decidedly wide in the rump and she and Anthony both look as if they're cosplaying Pruneface. The reason, of course, is that they've got a great big worry on their minds and they don't take any better care of themselves than John and Elly do. The great big worry is, of course, what Elly calls 'that child' and a 'complication': Fran¸oise; the reason she's a worry is that she's doing too well in school.

Now I know what you're thinking here; you'd think that a teacher who'd struggled against her dubious grades her whole life would be thrilled that a child under her care is performing well at school. I'd like to think that she'd be excited and happy for her myself but I have my doubts; that's because I know that Liz has been brought up to believe that poor grades are not the result of being stupid but the result of the teacher being a fink who wants to humiliate her charges and that being a good student comes at the cost of having friends and a social life. The other reason that she's threatened by the A pluses Francie produces and the ease with new ideas she displays is that that might lead to the uncomfortable and therefore unfair and untrue idea that the Pattersons are as a whole subpar mentally.

The unacknowledgable fear that she's just upset because she's living with a reminder that her husband traded in a woman capable of taking him places and making a better man of him for a blowsy, frumpy nitwit who's a chromosome away from sitting in a puddle of her own wastes would be bad enough were it not for the fact that she has no support system; taking her concerns to her parents is, as can be guessed, a foolish waste of time. Even if she could get her father's head in the game, he'd simply chant one of the shibboleths he needs to think is a universal truth lest his parents, siblings and peers back in Aberdeen be proven right when they call him a pontificating dolt with his head up his arse and Elly is even less help because she can't even be bothered to understand Liz's concerns let alone try to figure out what the deal is with that odd child Anthony had with that scary career woman.

She also cannot count on the sister-in-law who treats her like a poor relation while crowing about the latest means by which she sacrificed what little dignity she has left on the pagan idol of her lazy imbecile husband's arrogance, self-absorption and stupidity. Her friends are equally useless to her because instead of offering a perspective that might lead her out of the darkness, all they do is echo the empty nonsense that her parents spout.

This, of course, leads Liz to have a concern that she shouldn't have, a problem she cannot solve (because it doesn't exist) and smug peers who can't understand why she can't do anything with the advice that they didn't provide. The sad thing about it all is that she honestly believes that this is the way of the world and any variation from it is an unnatural horror fit only for picky-faces who want to get attention by trying to get her to believe that she'd rewarded a thief because he'd blown smoke up her arse with his fingers crossed behind his back.
Tags: lizthony: even worse

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