dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

A Revised study on Halloween in the Foobiverse.....

As you will recall, I'd once made an attempt to explain how the Pattersons react to Halloween; given that it's about that time of year again and that I left certain things out, I'd like to give you a bit of a remix of that earlier effort on a theme-by-theme basis. This is because I've noticed that certain themes tend to reoccur.

  • The War Against Candy: Not only does John rail against the candy he cons his children into giving him, Elly's witless habit of stinting herself so as to lose an imaginary ten pounds means that she ends up devouring the sweets that her children tell her to hide from one another.
  • Full-Contact Sibling Rivalry: This leads us to a reminder of an unpalatable fact; that unpleasant reality is that holidays are viewed as an occasion for Mike and Lizzie to score points in that war they've got going on with one another.
  • Costumed Foobery: That being said, Elly would prefer that they not get along than unite against her; they do so by not only wearing costumes that horrify her, they also make evil noises about wanting to break her heart by buying their costumes from the store instead of letting her express her love by engaging in creativity, feeling martyred when said garments are mildly criticized and getting angry when that awful little Martian who ruined her life balks at being shoved into a hot, sweaty suit and going out in the cold.
  • Adult Childishness: What's really annoying about the way they do things at the end of every October is that it gives John an opportunity to act like the overgrown mean, nasty, prank-happy ten year old they'll be cremating after he whizzes on an electric fence; his star turn was when he pouted after the cops told him to stop acting like an idiot child after being arrested for scaring the crap out of a group of local women.
  • Facile Moralizing: In the usual course of events, Lynn would save all the bleating about war zones for when April needs to be chastised for doubting parents who don't have her interests at heart; one Halloween, however, she indulged in her need to defame the working poor by having a child from a low-income household corrupt good, honest, upper-middle class children and convince them to smash John's eyesore vandal-magnet model train layout that he stupidly left to the mercy of anyone with a need to smash things. Much whinging about good leaders was made while no acknowledgment that Lynn let the same snobbery that made living in Lynn Lake unpleasant was in effect.


Simply put, All Hallows Eve is used primarily to reveal that despite being in costumes, the Pattersons' knavishness, snobbery and idiocy can never be disguised.
Tags: amazonian catfish tinfoil hat, holidazed pattersons
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