That being said, the real victims in Elly's being pointlessly upset at John because she's too thick to see that her over-reaction to his being quietly drunk is what people are really reacting to are, of course, Mike and Lizzie. This is because when she and John argue, she never takes the time to explain that no, Mommy and Daddy aren't mad at them but at each other.
The reason for this oversight is quite simple: Elly and Lynn don't actually think that what happens during childhood can be said to matter and are also so married to the notion that children think that everything is about them, it doesn't occur to them to disabuse them of that notion. The end result of that bizarre notion is that we have any number of freaked-out children who think that they are why Mommy and Daddy are mad at each other because Mommy won't tell them why and growls at them when they want to know why life sucks.
Eventually, this warps their character so much that whatever stirrings towards empathy that they may have had in their beginnings dies; in short, Elly's blithe belief that children are innately self-absorbed becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.