As I said the other day, Elly honestly came away with being put in her place by Mrs Walsh with the lunatic misapprehension that she’d scored some fabulous victory. We saw a woman being told how little she mattered being thrown a bone by someone who took pity on her but our hero is sick with the delusion that she had stood up for herself and prevailed over someone who wanted to keep her from what she thought she deserved. This is a symptom of a wider problem. Simply put, Elly doesn’t know what’s going on around her or how things are supposed to work but believes that she’s got things pegged. Another ‘victory’ that she celebrated was her scoring an entry-level (and ultimately disposable) job at her local library. We see a bored housewife crowing over not a lot. She sees herself as being far more important than she actually is.
It should thus come as no surprise that she assumes that common-place events are some horrible, humiliating defeat. The most annoying case in point is her blathering about how Mira wants to ensnare the poor, blameless Pattersons in her twisted family politics. Translated from ‘self-serving, immature gitface’ to ‘human being’, she means to say “Mira doesn’t think that I’m the center of the universe and that’s just awful.” Not, of course, that she’s alone in blathering about defeats that never happened. Granted, I would expect an actual immature child who didn’t know squat to assume that Becky was trying to crush her with her star power but what didn’t happen was anyone taking April aside, explaining that she was being a jealous, paranoid mess and making it stick. Jim’s need to write her a reality check just couldn’t compete with his daughter and son-in-law’s bunker mentality.
This need to avoid what she sees as a defeat is also partially responsible for her very strong need to resist taking John's advice. It doesn't matter what the issue is, all that matters is that he not "win" by forcing her to follow his lead.