dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

On collateral damage in the Cashpocalypse.

As you know, I've been toying with the idea that the Pattersons' wastefulness and stupidity has finally caught up with them. While it's loads of fun contemplating Elly standing around shrieking at the repo man as he hauls away her stuff or seeing the smoke coming out of her ears as her one-way brain tries to process the notion that the family has been living beyond its means for donkey's years, we also have to remind ourselves that the Core Four are taking a lot of innocents down with them. As a for instance, anyone who's in business with them will have to scramble to make sure that the Crown doesn't end up owing their horses just because they're in business with morons.

While I'm pretty sure that Moira and Gordo can somehow escape the gravitational pull of Patterfailure, the same cannot be said for April and the other children. The sudden collapse of the Patterempire seems to have been timed just right so as to ensure that whatever advantages John and Elly were able to lavish on Mike and Liz are to be denied the picky-faced Martian princess who destroyed Elly's life forever. That, of course, isn't the only thing that is perfectly timed so as to make her life worse. My inner cynical bastard suspects that she'll somehow end up being magically responsible for the collapse in the first place. I can readily imagine Elly leading the charge to ascribe the ruin caused by a collective financial delinquency on the imbalance in the family structure that April causes. Since John is only too ready to agree to anything that keeps the greaseburgers coming and is probably hating the fact that his out-of-control daughter defies him by insisting on facts instead of relying on the comfy stereotypes that prevent him from doing a lot of thinking, he'll add the threat of violence to ignorance. We can also count on Mike to resent the fact that he might have to get a real job, Deanna to be pissed that she might have to accept the evil generosity of the mother who'd warned her that the Sainted Pattersons were bozos, Lizzie to still be sore that she's a middle child and Anthony shrugging as he sighs a sigh of relief that he's still thought of as a demigod.

What makes things worse is that none of the stereotypes that her parents approve of will allow her the kindness of listening to her vent. Since she's been brainwashed into hating the one person who'd do so, she's stuck listening to Eva Warzone and Luis Refugee hector her about how she should be grateful that she has family around to blame her for their own idiocy.
Tags: amazonian catfish tinfoil hat, anyone wanna buy a used future?, eva warzone, picky-face martian princess creature
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