dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

The Hagiography of Eva Warzone…….

I think that it’s fairly safe to say that Lynn loves the idea that most of her characters are either immigrants or the children of immigrants. This, I believe is owing to the fact that she grew up knowing that she had living family members back in the United Kingdom and her tendency to see her unique experiences as somehow being universal. This is why the Pattersons both have relatives back in the Home Island, why Anthony and Deanna’s parents came off the boat and pretty much why Lawrence’s dad and Eva “Warzone” Abuya’s parents had to be foreigners.  This last, I should think, is owing to Lynn not really wanting to admit to herself that black people have always been a fact of life up here in the Great (Lily)White North.

We must also remember that Lynn tends to see visible minorities as being somehow magical; the worst of this tendency is the infamous strip that had John interacting with the Ethiopian cab driver. As we all remember, it was an exercise in having a refugee from a war zone explain to John that he should be grateful to live where he doesn’t have to face doing something obsolete old people used to do called “dying for his beliefs.” Had Lynn stopped there, we would have been able to shrug, write it off as her committing a minor faux-pas and gone on to discuss other horrors. Unfortunately, she’d developed a taste for the logical fallacy called the ‘appeal to shame’ and eventually created a character that embodied that particularly nasty form of shutting up people whose points of view got in the way of Housenings, Sham Weddings and Settlepocalypses: Eva Abuya.

As you will recall, the function she has that isn’t reminding April that she’s supposed to fear and hate someone who probably simply wonders why her childhood friend got all butthurt and jealous when she went solo is to not permit her to vent. She is thus depicted as an ennobling influence because she browbeats April into shutting up and not complaining about a hysterical nitwit mother who blames her for everything bad in her life, a boorish asshole father who treats her like a shit-heel because she has a brain of her own, an entitled ass of an older brother who barged in and disrupted her life so that he wouldn’t have to accept the generosity of a woman who thinks that he’s a deluded twit, a moronic goof sister-in-law who wants to turn her into a serf and a spoiled brat of an older sister who resents her for being loved better. A real friend would let April vent so that she doesn’t feel that she’s all alone and possibly just crazy; a pious fraud like Eva who doesn’t actually give two shits about her stands there and makes high-sounding noise about warzones and expiration dates so she doesn’t have to listen to boring comments about things that don’t matter to her. She is thus more or less equivalent to the boorish, insensitive, self-absorbed nitwit Liz who thinks “Well, whatever is inconveniencing April doesn’t affect me so it shouldn’t matter to her.”

This makes writing her Liography fairly easy; all we need do is make her rich parents refugees from a war zone who answer every question she ever asked with moral bullying about having to pay for the air she breathes and you’ve got a piece that has the theme “Eva is the best friend April could have because she’s programmed like a machine to bleat about how the picky-face should be grateful to be in the presence of people who regard the minor inconvenience of looking out for her interests as an unreasonable and evil imposition willed upon them by a tyrant child who wants to dominate them.” This sickens me because I remember something Lynn does not: anyone with a brain can read her strip and see that Becky is still a better friend than the lecturing turd with the attitude problem. Eva will go on to live a great life looking down on people who bore her with complaints that mean nothing to her and are thus not worth consideration while Becky is bound to end up becoming a dismembered carcass in a landfill somewhere because she told April that her parents had a lot to be desired.

Tags: eva warzone, the liographies
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