The reason that I mention that exercise in hatefulness, vanity and victimism is that it hints at something that I've shared with you all before once or twice. Quite simply, I don't think that the average Milboroughite believes Elly to be any sort of competent parent. This is because they come equipped with eyes, ears and (unlike the Pattersons) a functioning brain. What they see is a loud, angry, stupid and short-tempered woman either running around in a blind panic, blubbering idiotically about how awful she's being treated or hollering in murderous-looking rage when confronted with her placid, slighty subnormal children doing something mundane while gutlessly caving in when firmness is required. Another thing that they cannot help but notice is that she seems almost disgusted by the idea that children do not and cannot be expected to think exactly along the lines she does; this is why asking her to think of how her actions affect her kids is such a non-starter. Of course, having noticed that the woman feels betrayed when she is yet again reminded that despite what she believes, children don't come out of the womb with a command of English and perfect hand-eye coordination as well as her angry yowling when questioned, very few people bother talking to the imbecile.
Worse still is that she cannot seem to be bothered to remember things from day to day. The assumption must be that since her brain is like a God-damned Etch-a-Sketch™, she must have a drinking problem. She is thus probably thought of as that insane idiot lush the dentist married. Since people generally know better than to argue with crazy people and since Elly is as dumb as a sack of hair, she assumes that the silence of those who regard her as an inept muttonhead means that they agree with her.