dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Self-defeating behavior and Elly's nightmare fantasy.

As I've said before, Elly needs desperately to be appreciated but expects that this will never happen. This is owing to her inane remark about how it'll take her children until they're in their mid-forties to even start to think that she did something that deserved praise and her obvious belief that once she hits sixty-five, she'll either drop dead on the spot or her brains will melt and leave her the hopeless vegetable she needs to believe Jim was. The need to martyr herself, to feel pointlessly upset and most of all to think the worst of the people around her leads her to treat the delusion that twenty or thirty years from now, Mike and Liz will start to think that maybe, just maybe, Elly wanted a little bit of appreciation.....only to deny the notion out of hand because she seemed so happy to do that sort of thing.

The problem with this is that one of the reasons that her hard work goes unnoticed is that her family is so blasted used to seeing her work her ass off that it simply doesn't register any longer. It's kind of like how it always seems to astonish her when she discovers that her family expects that her default reaction to anything unfamiliar will be to yell in blind, panicky rage or how it baffles her that when a child says something, he or she expects to not be believed. You'd think that it would occur to her that her family sees her as a worker bee when she comments on how they only seem to notice what she does when she doesn't do it but it would no sooner occur to her to admit that since she can't not do housework or another of the thousands of other things that she does to sate her need to be needed, they tend to expect it of her than it would to admit that that particular need is why they treat her like their servant.

On that note, I'd like to say that I think that it's sort of appalling to have to watch her crush any attempt they might have towards self-sufficiency so she can feel as if her own life matters only to have her turn around and whine about how they try to make her feel guilty about having time to herself. If anyone out there ever told her "Don't rush in to doing things you're not sure you're ready for because people will come to expect it of you," I don't think that she'd understood it.
Tags: elly versus her family

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