As we all know, Elly doesn’t react well to change and doesn’t really understand how children behave. This results in her pointless angst when confronted with the rather mundane fact that Lizzie is developing her own personality. The same part of Elly that is traumatized by the rather boring fact that a child will not be content to sit quietly where ever she plunks her down like a doll or a cabbage or some other inert thing no matter how sincere Mommy is is, as we see so often, reduced to confused tears because Lizzie has betrayed Mommy’s trust by evolving beyond the cooing, helpless, easy-to-deal-with little lump that Elly wants her to be. This manifests itself not only in the fact that Elly tends to speak baby-talk to her but also as her sheer panty-soiling terror whenever Liz wants to have something Elly deems age-inappropriate. The cycle generally goes as follows:
- Lizzie goes to class and notices that her female classmates are wearing something grown-up looking like, oh, say, earrings.
- Said classmates tease Lizzie for not wearing them.
- Lizzie, who already feels sort of isolated because she’s not too smart and because her parents seem to pay more attention to her ugly brother, wants them so she can at least fit in somewhere.
- Lizzie pleads with Elly to get them.
- Elly says that she’s not old enough and alludes to mysterious reasons that she will not disclose.
- Elly bitches to John about the evils of the same peer pressure she knuckled under to when she was young.
- Elly whines to Connie about how terrible it is that Lizzie is growing up too fast.
- Elly buckles under because her backbone is made of Gummi candy.
- When the deed is done, Elly’s reaction to the horrible prospect of her little baby growing up “too fast” (in English, that’s “at all”) is to whine so much that even the caterwauling Australian in the bodypaint who makes me want to punch him in the face when he wails about a collapsed relationship would tell her to chill out.
- Lizzie wants something new to make her fit in because earrings are sooooooo yesterday.
- Elly, whose memory can be compared favourably to a sieve owing to her forgetting doing the same thing to Marian, is paralysed by existential terror.
The reason I mention this is because Deanna is probably doing the same damned thing to Meredith for the same stupid reason. Like Elly, she doesn’t have a clue as to what her daughter is thinking or what pressures she’s subjected to. The difference is that unlike Elly who screams at child-care books because they tell her things that allude to her being the problem, Deanna has successfully convinced herself that she knows what she’s doing and damn her domineering mother for suggesting that she’s just quoting slogans. Another reason Mira can be damned is that she doesn’t see what the big freaking deal is with Meredith getting her ears pierced so long as she can make sure to avoid a nasty infection. Oh, wait. She’d be even more damned for siding with Deanna on this one because Mike has his head wedged up his arse and would sit there like a lump of dung creating his next horrible novel while his child's ears end up having to get lopped off because of the necrotising fasciitis he did nothing to prevent.