dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

“A pig-eat-chicken world”

We’re about to be subjected to a rather odd little strip that sort of says it all about Uncle Danny. You see, the reason that his hens have all disappeared is that the pigs he keeps ate them because they kept falling asleep on the sides of the pig pens. Upon confessing this, the man makes a comment about how we all live in that pig-eat-chicken world I mentioned in the title to this entry. Allow that to sink in for a second. The man noticed this and thought to himself “DURRRRRR!!!!! My chickens are being eaten by my pigs because the hens are not being secured. Hmmm. Since I can’t somehow pen the chickens up or anything so that they’ll be safe from predation, this must somehow be destiny and the Way of The World!” This sort of thinking is why I keep hammering away at the Hammer Horror Educational Film. The man is too blasted stupid to pen his chickens up like a sensible person and assumes that the end result of his imbecilic negligence is Just How Things Go.

We also have to contend with a phenomenon that drove jjamele bonkers: the fact that the man was so stupid and negligent that he allowed his septic tank to freeze solid. Being too dumb to prevent the premature deaths of what should have been Sunday dinners and the eggs to go with his bacon is one thing but to stand around scratching his arse and letting his pipes freeze because he’s too cheap to do things properly is quite another. We combine a lack of foresight, intellect and due diligence on the one hand and a love of false economies that permit him to go broke ‘saving’ money on the other. No wonder the Patterswine love him: he’s one of them!!

This need to sanctify gormlessness makes him the perfect Wise Man for Dim John and Learning-Impaired Elly. He tells his fellow meatballs the simplistic bullshit that they crave because it not only confirms their chowderheadedly naive and hatefully rigid view of the world, it sounds almost enough like actual wisdom to minds that are too immature to realize what a despicable trick the Appeal To Worse Problems actually is let alone how fatuous and factitious a seer the man is.

Tags: danny

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