dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

On Exile Farm, Horses Own Pattersons.....

For all my talk of John wanting to silence opinions that don't mesh exactly with his own and Elly wanting to discourage scary relationships that would mean that neither of them would get to own their children's horses as 'fair' payment for what they call a horrible and unfair sacrifice and what decent human beings call the affirmative moral duty of raising defenseless children, I tend to forget that Lynn has it in her head that farm life is somehow better than urban life, that spending long hours doing stoop labor makes children more practical and wonderful than suburbanites. Since she's not willing to face the sad fact that farm kids are just as likely to be apathetic slackers or arrogant jerkwads as city kids, she needs to have something that isn't Unfrozen Caveman Farmhand or Lantern-Jawed Carping Bitchdroid Laura to highlight how 'impractical' and 'stupid' Mike, Liz and April are because they don't have to deal with rising before dawn, getting to bed at dusk and working very hard every freaking day.

The medium she uses to indicate how utterly useless she thinks they are because they don't live on a farm and don't have to listen to Danny and Bev rant non-stop about how farm people are the moral superiors of city folk 24/7/365 is their consistently negative interactions with horses. Each time a Patterson encounters a horse, he or she always comes up the loser. We first start with Mike, his overconfident belief that all he needed to do was jump on a horse and he'd be able to play cowboys for real. What happened is that since he didn't know how ride the damned thing because he was too big and important to learn, it came to a sudden halt in order to eat....thereby causing Mike to get a sweet one in the yams. A decade and a half later, Liz had to endure Cousin Laura's tendency to lecture her about how spoiled city folk are because they don't spend most of their time relying on a large, temperamental creature that eats hay and produces dung for transportation. A decade or so after that, Laura calls April a horse's ass because she got on the losing side of her own argument with a glue-factory reject. 

You can't help but notice a commonality here. What always happens is that the city kid wants to very much maintain his or her dignity only to be humiliated and mocked by a nasty, pontificating bitch who either needs to be slapped in the mouth and told to mind her manners or be asked to tell April that she's spoiled and lazy while Daddy drinks a glass of water.  
Tags: cousin laura, exile farm
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