dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

They wasted a perfectly good anvil…

As we’ve seen, Lynn loves to have the Pattersons who she believes to be in the wrong be lectured to by jackasses who use the logical fallacy of appealing to worse problems in order to suppress any sort of argument they’d rather not hear because it would require them to care about the person they’re haranguing. This is why John blathered about famine victims because he didn’t care one iota about Liz’s feelings of inadequacy, why Jim asked the musical question “I watched good men die to take a hill we had to give back to the Krauts the next day so quit beefing about your wedding plans” and especially why Eva Warzone blew off April’s complaints about being treated like furniture by parents who saw her as an inconvenience. It’s also why Danny and Laura are able to get away with shooting their mouths off about how lazy, soft and entitled the Pattersons are because they don’t have to get up at pitchdark o’thirty in the morning to deal with livestock.

What really gets on my last nerve is that the magic people cannot be contradicted ever. As an example, Liz was not allowed to say “Well, I do feel bad about those people but there’s not a lot that I can do about it. Besides, I’m still left with problem hair and while it means little to you, it’s still going to be a big deal when I get back to class” because that would mean that she had a bad attitude. This is because Lynn regards the nasty trick of implying something not in evidence as a conversation killer. Telling someone that she has to shut up or be thought of as heartless is the rhetorical equivalent of turning one’s back to a child with one’s eyes closed while issuing a command. In both cases, the passive-aggressive twit doing it demonstrates a lack of empathy with the person being addressed as well as the default assumption that the person being ordered around can never be even the least bit in the right.

This is why I sort of mourn a lost opportunity to witness lecturing and the spewing-forth of bonehead platitudes about the alleged superiority of farm life. You see, Lynn had forgotten that at one point, the Cruikshanks were supposed to visit the Pattersons in the city. Since she did so, we missed a perfect chance to watch Danny harrumph about how awful it is that city folk are disconnected from the land and to see Laura squeal in dismay when confronted with the evils of free time, mall shopping, more than two channels on television and suburban traffic. Since, as I said, the Magic People can’t be told that their arguments are rubbish and they’re rocket-jawed ignoramuses who substitute slogans they’re too dim to question for thought, the Patterson children would have to sit there and take verbal abuse from nasty muttonheads in the comfort of their own home. 

Tags: amazonian catfish tinfoil hat, cousin laura, danny

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