dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

"Why can't I be boring and ordinary like everyone else???"

To wrap up the whole garbage gastritis incident, I think that we should play close attention to the fact that the Pattersons don't learn things because they don't ask the right questions. The quote I'm using for a title is the pay-off line of a fairly good example of this annoying tendency. The time is August 1988, the place is the summer camp John and Elly packed Mike and Liz off to so that they wouldn't have to spend their summer playing referee in the war caused by their idiotically pitting the kids against one another and the situation is that Mike feels isolated. As we all remember, Mike had to spend most of his time there doing KP because he got caught looking into the girls' shower. This is because his idiotic need to make a spectacle of himself always follows a set pattern:
  1. He finds himself in a situation where he feels isolated and insecure.
  2. Another child smells blood in the water and makes a lying promise of friendship if Mike will do just one little thing.
  3. Mike, who's starved for attention at home because John hates dealing with kids when he can't have fun and Elly has poor time management skills, agrees to do so.
  4. Mike does the deed but since he's not very bright, gets caught red-handed.
  5. He stands there baffled as his 'friend' goes full-on Pontius Pilate on him.
  6. He wonders why he always gets into trouble when other kids do worse things.
What happens at camp is that Mike gets his fat head stuck in the hole because he doesn't realize that being able to get his cranium unwedged might be a problem. Always and ever, Mike's lack of insight into how things work or how people react gets him into trouble he doesn't need. To give you another example, a person with common sense wouldn't send a girl a gross-out Valentine merely because he is turned off by syrupy words but Mike does just that and ends up hurting Martha's feelings instead of being praised for his cleverness. Since he's too stupid to realize that his lack of insight is the problem, Dumbass blames the mess his witlessness made on her.

How this relates to the garbage gastritis arc is that Elly never questions her witless belief that everyone else reacts to a situation as she would. Just as Mike never seems to be able to admit that he hasn't got a clue as to how the world really works, Elly tends to think "HUM!! If I were Farley, I would stay in the yard. Therefore, I don't really need to take steps to keep him there." 
Tags: one big oblivious family

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