dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Must loathe kids: why it's still a good thing that Phil never became a dad......

Of course, no look at what a load of crap Phil is would be complete without shining a harsh light on why he really never became a father. We've covered how he refers to having to consider the rights and needs of others as oppression and how he makes a whiny little bitch of himself when he can't get what he wants when he wants it and even how he needs constant stimulation in order to stave off the inevitability of death. What we need to focus on is his inability to relate all that well to the children that happen to get in the way of his being a lounge lizard. Simply put, Phil is too God-damned fragile emotionally to deal with the needs of an active child and too blasted stupid to understand why they do what they do. If he weren't a knuckle-dragging moron devoid of empathy, he'd remember that since Elly and John are both people who hate the idea of not being immediately good at something, Michael would be much the same sort of person.

The reason that all of this bothers me is that angry, bitter people like me who don't want to inflict their hostility on innocents get lumped in with sad sacks of shite like him. I mean, here's a man who had every material advantage his parents could afford to provide him and still lacks the maturity needed to learn the lesson "it's not all about you, dude!" What looks like the maturity to realize that he shouldn't have kids is actually the spoiled brat in him telling him that they'd just cramp his style by forcing him to make big, scary decisions.

The only thing that can possibly soothe me is the realization that he'd have made a worse mess of Lawrence's outing himself than numb-skull Greg could have. Sure, Greg is a blasted moron who thinks that he's a freaking hero for having to tolerate a gay stepson but at least he does it. The same part of me that assumes that Elly and John would explode in blind rage if one of their kids was ungrateful enough to be gay assumes that the dipshit with the big, gay mustache and the fat Tom of Finland ass would still be holed up in a bar someplace waiting for Connie to calm the Hell down about how Lawrence betrayed them both. This is because in my mind, it's better to have a wrong opinion and be proven wrong than to have no opinion and wait for the dust to settle.
Tags: phil: bee and bop king

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