dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Negative Parental Unity: Preamble the Third to the Patter-Outing.

Before I get to the reaction proper to one of the Patterson children revealing that he or she is gay, I'd like to remind you of why John and Elly parented as if they never had any control over their children. First off, we have John being a firm believer in the logical fallacy called the false dichotomy. His particular brand of either/or thinking has him transfixed by the self-serving delusion that if his children show the slightest bit of resistance to his insane demands, they're trying to mutiny against him and need their attitude adjusted. Nowhere in his mental landscape is the idea that his children aren't monsters who want to overthrow him because that, I should think, would mean that his habit of relying on stereotypes to save him from the scary, scary phenomenon of having to think about what he's doing is wasteful, counterproductive and wrong. I mean, if he were to start learning things about the people around him, he might actually have to apologize and mean it and that would be just terrible. No one respects someone who admits mistakes, you see.

Secondly, we have Elly's self-serving habit of thinking that she's the victim of a world-wide conspiracy consisting of every carbon based life form that ever has lived or ever will live to make her miserable lest her awesomeness make them all lose their will to live. This means that the slightest bit of resistance to doing what she wants isn't actually a child having a different opinion because he or she is an autonomous life form. It, as I've said, is because the child hates her and wants her to suffer and is cruel, mean and unfair.

This combination of rigid, stereotypical thinking by a vain, entitled dumb-ass who needs to feel like a man and petulant over-reacting by a vain, entitled dumb-ass who thinks that the voice announcing "At the tone, the time will be one p.m., Eastern Daylight Time" has it in for her leads to a rather predictable result. As we saw when Elly quit motherhood, Mommy lost her shit because she didn't get the answer she wanted and because she exaggerated how 'defiant' April had been, a man who needs to see his children as being stereotypes rather than as individuals and who fears nuance because he'd have to pay attention to the world and thus be defeated by it committed an atrocity because their infantile and repulsive vanity made them think that they were the ones being wronged.

Now, imagine a drama queen like Elly and a loutish moron who's obsessed with how grateful his children are like John being told "Mom. Dad. I'm gay." I almost don't even have to write what would happen. I will, though, just to make things complete.
Tags: child rearing disasters, the patter-outing

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