dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Moron Support: How to be a crappy friend.

As we leave the Luggsworth arc behind us, we have to contend with a wider issue that it revealed. As we saw, Mike's 'friends' couldn't wait to abandon him and stood around like shivering pillars of shit while he was getting the snot kicked out of him. This is part of a larger pattern that I've noticed; simply put, when things look bad for Mike, his so-called friends simply cannot be bothered to help him get himself out of the problem his stupidity lands him in. Either they abandon him to his fate or they give him stupid advice that will make matters worse. For an example of the former, we have the arc we're reading now. The tendency to give subpar advice is when they feed into his suspicion that Martha is playing him for a sap; granted, they don't understand that Martha's friends won't be friends with her if she insists on having a private life but you'd think that they'd do better than resort to yapping about cooties. Given that Mike was there to support Lawrence when Greg and Connie outed themselves as hysterical bigots and you see that the chump is a better friend than the gay dude he's pals with.

This is where Liz has things slightly better than Mike; she, after all, has Miss Edwards to give her some sort of real-world perspective to help her when the pressures of dealing with her imbecile friends become too much. Liz kinda needed the help because she doesn't really have the skill set required to compete in the artificial environment known as high school. She's timid, not very smart, passive, clingy, immature and sort of a gloomy person at the best of times so expecting her to understand social situations is a crap-shoot at best. Most of why she was depressed for so long is that she simply didn't have the ability to see why it was 'friendships' were so volatile. I mean, you take someone who never grew out of zero-sum thinking and put her in a social situation and you will end up with a Liz Patterson convinced that she doesn't fit in. Add in a sullen dick older brother, a mother who's forgotten what it's like to be fifteen and confused, a father who's basically a robot with skin on and a kid sister that everyone fusses over and you end up wanting to backhand Dawn, Candace and Shawna-Marie for not being more sensitive.

As irritating as Mike's gutless friends and Liz's catty, whiny idiot friends are, at least they didn't spend their time going "Blah-blah-blah-war-zone-blah-blah-blah-expiration-date-blah-blah-blah-refugee" all the damned time. You might want to slap Lawrence and Gordo on the back of the head and you might want to flip Dawn, Candence and Shawna-Marie off for playing head games with a passive nitwit but if you're like me, you'd want April to take out a restraining order to protect herself from that toxic asshole Eva Warzone. I do not know what it is that makes her do this but I do know that I do not like the filthy trick she keeps on playing on April. Her incessant habit of silencing comments that bore her by insinuating that by worrying about her immediate concerns, April is too selfish and stupid to see the larger picture makes her a worse friend than Becky was. We seem to be dealing with a parasite feeding on April's unacknowledged jealousy in order to get a free ride on a vulnerable child; we're also dealing on why it was so easy for me to write that piece in the New Retcons that had Mira give her a piece of her mind.

Ah, well. Odds are that when April leaves for the minor frontier village of Calgary, she probably won't keep in touch with the dozy prat. That makes her better off than her older siblings.
Tags: putting the r in fiend.

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