dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

Keeping April safe from knowing things.....

Of course, most of why April isn't allowed to make decisions is that the Pattersons don't think that she knows enough about the world to make good ones. One thing that you can rely on is that when Lynn needs someone to ask obvious questions that reveal abysmal ignorance of the real world, that person is always April. You don't see Lizardbreath, the Delicate Genius, JSTF or Flapandhonk asking idiotic questions despite their having a collective IQ of forty-five; the one to not know what death, gastroenteritis and plastic hip joints are is always the Martian.

As you can probably guess, I've got some problems with that deal. The first problem is that as I said last week, John and Elly seem to feel it's their job to protect their children from knowing anything about the real world. The idea seems to be "keep them 'safe' from 'terrifying' information and when they go out into the scary real world, their ignorance of How Things Work will get them so mauled, they'll be glad to move back Home Where It's Safe and gratefully support their wonderful parents."

The second problem is that when April does ask questions that John and Elly ascribe to a profound ignorance of the real world, the wrongness is informed. As an example, they wanted to hammer home the point that Mike has to freeload off of them for months on end because buying a house takes a long time; the problem is that they were speaking fluent nonsense because Mike should have had a plan for catastrophic losses. It's like how Liz had to Occupy Spare Bedroom like so much Fonzie when she should have gotten the sort of basement apartment she'd wound up in anyway upon returning home. Again, Silly April had to be told the time wasn't right....only for the right time to be when it became clear that she'd have to pay her ugly brother rent cheques. Finally, I really don't think that April is so stupid she doesn't know what a stroke is.
Tags: child rearing disasters, picky-face martian princess creature
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