dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

Time: a Foob's greatest enemy.

The problem, as Lynn sees it, that her life isn't going the way it's supposed to. Her obsession with marrying off her fictional offspring with people they knew as children comes from a Hollywood cliché with little basis in reality. Her life plan was simple. Step one: marry Prince Charming. Step two: since Hubby is the breadwinner, do freelance artwork as a sort of hobby. Step three: the whole June Cleaver act with the cleaning of the house and cooking of the food and raising of the children. Sadly, it didn't work out that way at all. Her high-school sweetheart turned out not to be Prince Charming, like she'd hoped, but the Black Knight. If that betrayal of trust wasn't humiliating enough, being regarded as a joke by his girlfriends was even worse. After he bailed, she was forced into single motherhood with a child she just couldn't cope with. Being too proud and scared to ask for help, things were looking pretty bad for the lady. Fortunately for her, Rod Johnston, flying dentist and all-round stand-up guy, entered the picture. He gave the lady a home and her boy a dad because that's what decent men do. Happy ending, right? WRONG!!! Lynn Johnston has a deep store of resentment just behind that silly grin of hers. What she resents most is te fact that her children have grown away from her to live their own lives. She resorts to creating a false history wherein her children live 'properly', and coincidentally give Mom her props. The galling thing is that people identify the real people with their fictional analogues. I don't really know but I'm pretty sure that her son Aaron might not be exactly thrilled by his being compared to Mike Patterson. For instance, his real life relationship with his half-sister Kate and all the thorny issues resulting from step-siblinghood were played for laughs. You and I might see that as the reason his relationship to his mother may be described as distant. Does Kate Johnton see herself as Elizabeth, the idiot drama queen who needs to be manipulated into marrying a real-life version of gloomy toad Anthony? Probably not. Does Rod Johnston see John No-Balls Patterson staring back at him from the shaving mirror? Not so much. If reading about fun-house mirror versions of themselves and her Martian Princess imaginary daughter wasn't bad enough, the Johnston family smile forced smiles about her resurrection of the dead. The first case, of course, involve her parents. She had their characters in the strip years after their real deaths, so she could change them into the parents she wanted. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt on that one, because her real mother was an abusive drunk and she should at least have fictional closure. As for Grandpa Jim, up until recently, she was grateful to have a voice in her noggin warning her to pay attention to things. The second case is slightly more creepy, however. It involves the one incident in her son's life he wanted her to use. One fine day when he was still a journalism student, he came upon a fatal single-person automobile accident. He was so focused on getting the story, he forgot all about the young woman who'd died. When he found out that the young lady was someone he knew from grade school, he felt disgusted at himself and vowed from then on to be a human being instead of the biological adjunct of a camera. Starting to sound familiar, kiddies?? That's right!! In crazy Lynn's screwy sitcom world, this tragedy can be 'made good' by not killing the poor girl. Then she can marry Mikerobe and have the suburban minimum-cinch life. You guessed it: the reason I call Deanna a reactionary FANTASY is that she's based on a fucking dead woman. How does the fruitcake justify this atrocity to the girl's parents who'd probably want her to rest in peace? I mean, really? Nobody sane wants FICTIONAL FUCKING GRANDKIDS. But then, she's too focused on HER discomfort to give two shits. And she LOVES being uncomfortable.
Tags: foobs vs common decency
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