dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

On imagined conversations, Part One: "I'm up HERE, Jackass!!"

As I reminded you yesterday, Lynn clearly thinks a lot of stupid things about John's habit of being a skeevy freak who can barely contain his throbbing biological urges. Said stupid things are:

  1. All men are slobbering deviants with a permanent hard-on.

  2. Elly should consider herself lucky that John is too chicken-shit to act on the urges in his areas.

  3. Elly should consider herself lucky that he picked her.

  4. The women who get ogled like the unwanted attention.

  5. Pretty women just steal men from plain girls because that's what they do.

Since she believes all of these things, what we never saw is a woman taking issue with John leering at her. If you'll allow me, I'd like to summarize the most likely scenario. Imagine, if you will, a bright summer day in wherein both the year and the daytime high are in the mid-eighties; the Patterson family are at the mall when a young woman I'll call Sylvia Walsh walks by. Sylvia is a reasonably attractive woman in her early twenties going about her business when she encounters the disturbing phenomenon of a tall man with beige hair, a pot belly and glasses that make him look like a barn owl leering at her like she's a side of beef or something. What makes it all the worse is that not only is this repellent perv slobbering like a maniac, he's doing it in front of his wife and children...and the wife is looking at HER like she's encouraging it. Now, in television, this is about where Sylvia would tell John and Elly off for being dicks; since she's a real person, she'd just pass by this horrible scene and hope to forget it. Now, imagine it's a few minutes later and the family is  at the food court overhearing a conversation between a woman and her mother; said conversation would displease John because it's about some low-rent freak who just can't control himself like straight shootin'Johnny Jump-up can. Said outrage at having to deal with the lower orders would be heightened when Sylvia's mother identified the cretin in question as "That idiot dentist Patterson who married the crazy woman who yells all the time. Knowing that woman, she probably thinks you want to steal the dough-head away from her or some such nonsense."

It would be refreshing to see someone just plain old tell John that woman don't appreciate his 'flattery' in the least nor care overly much for him. Too bad that the message would be received but not understood. John would come away with the impression that said woman was pitching for the other team because she doesn't yearn for the attention of a skeevy idiot who looks like a sack of oatmeal with glasses; Elly would assume that said woman was lying because if she isn't yearning to bust her ass, there must be something wrong with her.
Tags: the pattersons versus reality.

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