dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

John Patterson: Model Train Enthusiast Zombie

Of course, what really annoys me is the very stupid reason John gave for killing the scary, scary caterpillar in a blind, unthinking rage. This very stupid reason is the same one he was using when he was telling himself that it was okay to beat Lizzie to the point where she stopped making the intolerable noise called 'being a sick, frightened child": he needed his precious, precious sleep. You see, John never seems to be able to get enough rest for his liking. Time and again, the blasted ape growls about getting sufficient rest after a hard day enduring the existential horror of having to take crap instead of dishing it out despite the fact that it's probably pretty much impossible to get the amount of rest that he wants without people coming along and putting dimes on his eyes by mistake.

This need he has for a rest that comes close to being eternal and his arrogant, sullen refusal to admit that his needs aren't the only needs that can or will be considered means that people have to live their lives around his need to sack out after another scary, hateful reminder that he's a very small man in a very big world. Woe betide the picky-faced Martian princess who needs Daddy to drive her places at night; while other sucker parents kowtow to their offspring (that's "while other decent human beings support their kids instead being ungrateful douchecanoes" in Human Being), John is doing what everyone is "supposed" to do: sit in the parking lot grumbling about missing his rest.

This tendency of his to blame the people around him for the fact that despite his best efforts at getting adequate sleep, he still looks like one of the Walking Dead when he wakes up in the morning makes him an ignorant chunk of detritus. That's because he has very poor sleeping habits indeed. First off, we have to contend with his need to just slump down on the couch like an idiot in the hopes that being a large, ugly sofa cushion that growls at people will help him get the rest he needs. This will not work because he'll end up getting too much sleep. Yes, that's actually a problem; you see, getting too much sleep is as bad for a person and as disruptive of getting adequate rest as not having enough sleep. Since he doesn't know this, he does both that and try to make up for lost sleep on the weekends and he ends up looking like he's just been drafted into the Black Lantern Corps.
Tags: john - grinning weirdo

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