dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

The art of distorting what your children tell you.

Speaking of annoying things that linger like a bad stench, I'd like to explore a rather familiar phenomenon yet again. Said irritating problem is Elly's habit of not really understanding what her children are telling her. This comes into play later in the month when Mike says something along the lines of how he doesn't want to trudge over to Annie's house so that he can associate with preschoolers and be treated as if he were still in kindergarten every time Elly's running a bit late. Since Elly desperately needs her non-job because it allows her to feel as if she matters to the world, she twists his wondering why he can't be allowed to be in his own home when she's out working into a selfish demand that she not have an identity that isn't all about serving him.

This, as we all know too damned well, is because Elly is a brittle, angry jerk who assumes that her children despise her and don't want her to ever enjoy life or have a public identity. In her mind, they want to erase her from the picture and keep her in the background and never, ever acknowledge her contribution to their lives. The reason for this paranoid dread of being consigned to mute anonymity seems to me to be her projecting her own desire to crush everyone under her feet onto the blank canvas of children who see her as a domineering monster who spends each day figuring out new ways to blight the lives of the children she only gave birth to so she could have someone to tyrannize.

This would be bad enough were it not combined with something else that makes her a pain in the ass: her default belief that anything that she can't understand is clearly part of a plot to destroy her. As I've said before, she clearly expects her children to say "You know what, Mom? I really am a selfish little brat who sponges off of you and Dad because I'm evil and love chaos and should thus atone for my hateful parasitism!" and when they don't, the wholly unexpected event leaves her as baffled and horrified as their not taking life as pointlessly seriously as she does.

The end result of this is that she's blighted the world with two fragile idiots who also don't understand children and lose their shit when they don't say things they're supposed to. You would think that a child who used to try to have as much fun as she could wouldn't freak out like a maniac because she thought that the made-up word "stousins" was part of a plot to eat her brain but after about a quarter of a century of life where a kid can't be a kid, it makes sense that Liz grew up totally unable to relate to children as anything other than an antagonist to fight with.
Tags: child rearing disasters
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