dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

On teenaged wastelands in the Foobiverse.

As you might or might not know, Lynn plans to dedicate the 2014 calendar to a look at the teenaged years of Mike, Liz and April. Not only do we have to look forward to a depressing reminder that Lynn has such a poor memory, she no longer remembers what her characters used to look like, we have to endure an even more depressing reminder that John and Elly interact with their children, they always behave as if they're fighting for their lives. When you remember that that paranoid, hysterical imbecile Elly's reaction to Lizzie's entering the terrible twos is to all but give up on being able to control her and that she thinks that Mike's being afraid of coming home to an empty house clearly means that he wants to brick her into the crawl space so she can never leave, her inability to cope with placid children trying to establish an identity that isn't about being an extensiion of Mom and Dad's will is as predictable as her serving heartburn-inducing casseroles.

Also, since John clearly seems to think that whenever he and his children have the least sort of difference of opinion, they're clearly trying to revolt against his legitimate authority and usher in an era of chaos where his opinion is never to be expressed, it's easy to see that dealing with a teenager is going to make his being a gutless, vindictive and self-absorbed tin-pot dictator even worse than it already is.

That being said, it seems to me that this strip in particular explains what most frightens them about their children maturing: their fear that somehow or other, their children will be just more people whom they cannot control. We are, after all, dealing with two people who base their belief that they are the greatest victims in the history of the universe on the fact that people don't do what they want them to do when they want it done. Since they cannot have the god-like absolute control over everyone ever that their pathetic vanity and hateful megalomania make them want, they MUST own horses so as to be compensated for being defeated by everyone ever.

What this all means is that the general public is expected to part with money better spent on food and shelter so that they can be reminded that the people who will end up picking Elly's retirement home for her are terrible because they didn't agree that Mommy and Daddy cannot be questioned ever.
Tags: elly versus her family, elly versus the truth, john needs vitamin stfu, lynn versus the real world

  • Meet The Proxies.

    The irritating thing about having to remember the mess the Pattersons kept making of their love lives until they settled down with the safe person…

  • Starring Mike Patterson as Errorprone The Stumbler.

    The interesting thing about this Summer's transformation from Dirt Of The Earth Michael to The Delicate Genius is that over the years, Michael is…

  • Why Michael could not call for help.....

    The irritating thing about John's breezy assumption that it's safe to leave April at the tender mercies of his idiot son is that he doesn't really…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.