dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

Marian misreads Elly redux

As you know, I really don't think much of Marian Richards as a mother. It seems to me that Elly would have been a damned sight better off being raised by wolves or evil Québecois career women than being raised to follow her mother's horrible example. Given that I've just reminded myself that Marian is as easily baffled and horrified by the mundane as Elly is, I should think that the reason that Marian failed as a mother is that she was as dumb as a sack of hammers. Take, as a for instance, her fear that Elly was mutating into a demanding, foul-tempered petty tyrant. Rather than asking herself if she was simply becoming her own person or wondering what factor or factors in Elly's life made her into a moody jerk who staggered under the burden of not knowing her place in the world, Marian sat on Elly and never seemed to think that anything that she did was good enough. She also never seemed to get it through her thick skull that what would actually make Elly happy was the least hint that her mother approved of her and was proud to have brought her into the world. Were you to have put the matter to her in those terms, it's fairly likely that Marian would not understand what you were saying because Elly knew this despite her never saying so or acting as if she did.

This inability to really understand that Elly desperately wanted to be thought well of and praised and, most importantly, be told that she wasn't a mistake that her mother regretted has led her to do all sorts of things that are clearly against her better interests. Marrying John, quitting school, having children and other stupid things are stupid things she did because she thought that she could finally get Marian to say that she did right. Since Mommy was as dumb as a bag of rocks, that never really happened. Also, since Elly is too busy feeling sorry for herself to notice that her life is pretty good, she's too wrapped up in trying to have a do-over of her childhood to notice that Liz is repeating the same stupid pattern.
Tags: grate grandmother marian, one big oblivious family
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