dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Lovey Saltzmann: Super Ethnic Stereotype Surrogate Elly.

I'd like to continue my look at Magic Old People who came in and rescued the Patterson children from their innate tendency towards being unable to stand on their own by looking at the early years of Michael's marriage. As we all know, Lynn made a meal of saying that Mike and Deanna were not really able to save much money or get very far ahead because they were too young and because Mira was a bad parent who interfered too much. Just as Michael's incompetence was not due to the fact that Elly was an inept fool who did everything wrong but because he wouldn't listen to her sage advice and not at all hypocritical ranting, Deanna was kept from learning the skills she needed because Mira coddled her.

This is, of course, a load of old bollocks. Any major dude will tell you that Deanna is only really only half a person and that the only thing that she is about is defying her mother and rejecting everything she says and does because she doesn't meekly knuckle under to DEANNA'S DADDY like on television. Her getting all huffy and weepy and crazy and stupid because Mike DARED to answer back when she was ranting about how only she is allowed to point out personality flaws that annoyed her tells us the second reason she's an incompetent idiot: she's still the same huffy idiot CHILD she was in elementary school.

It's thus a very good thing that Lovey Saltzman was there to watch over her and Mike. Not only did she lovingly enable Deanna's tendency to think that her children were evil parasites who wanted to drain her dry and impose a reign of chaos in which they criminally and treasonously rejected the truth that the EVIL, EVIL feeling in their limbs that told them that children should move and talk and act and play of their own accord is an EVIL thing that distracts them from being good children and sitting quietly and staring blankly into space until that AWFUL urge for the stimulation that mothers should NEVER be asked to provide goes away, she was also there to tell EVIL, DOMINEERING Mira that the duty of loving mothers is to adopt an attitude of complete and utter apathy. The idea is that if she loved Deanna, she should just stand there and watch her drown. Why, she even protected them from having to deal with the consequences of acting like trailer trash to their neighbors.

The super great and wonderful result was that when Mike and Deanna got burned out, they could not fend for themselves and thus had to move back hooooooooooooome because there aren't Magic People anywhere else. Not, of course, that she was needed any longer; once the fire taught Michael that the Evil Distracting Star that made him think that the Cruel, Scary Outside World with its uppity designers using him as a stepping stone and its evil bosses wanting him to scare and hurt people by actually ACTING like a senior editor was a place he could live in was a lie, she had served her purpose.
Tags: legion of substitute parents

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