dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

The Pattersons after John....

It seems to be a consensus that given the collapse of Lynn's marriage, it would be maybe a good thing if she killed John off as a way of wrapping things up. I personally think that it should have happened a long time ago if it were to do any real good but that's just me. It may seem to the casual passer-by that an irrelevance like JSTF wouldn't leave that much of a post-mortem impact but they forget how stupid the Pattersons act when it comes to handling their finances. Even if he had any assets to leave behind in his will, I'm guessing an idiot like him would leave the women in his life with precious little. In his retrograde way of thinking, competence with money is genetic and proceedeth from the Y chromosome. Simple as the paper his will is written on, Mike would get the pig's share of the Foob Fortune while Elly, Liz and April get left holding the bag. This would be less of a problem if Elly still lived in the Pattermanse but she'd have to pay off the mortgage on the Tiny Train House on next to nothing. Her situation then can be summed up as 'boned through the ear'. See also 'Tap City', 'Behind the Eight Ball' and 'Twisting Sloooooowly in the wind'. In the space of a month her brand-new house and brand-new furniture would be repossessed while she and April, the dispossessed, would be engaged in a desperate struggle to find an apartment. That's because neither of her other children have the room or money to help them out. April may have to put her plans on hold until she gets back on her feet but she'll probably survive the post-John era reasonably well because she isn't as rigid as her mother. Sadly, we can look forward to a future of Elly actively resisting any form of financial assistance, governmental or otherwise. If one of the children don't force the issue and make her live with them, we could see the advent of Elly Patterson: Bag Lady. Twelve years earlier, and she'd be where she is now without having the debts her imbecile husband is bound to leave her. More on that tomorrow.
Tags: john: little tin god or petty tyrant?, liz: whining martyr, mikerobe: the universal infant, picky-face martian princess creature, sheet shaver

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