dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Why Lizthony had to be.......

Now, I explained the other week that I think that the Settlepocalypse is Elly's distorted version of what really happened. Since she can't wrap her tiny brain around a starter marriage simply dissolving without acrimony or Liz and Anthony deciding that their break was over or anything like that, a rather bland and mildly heartless story in which a third party or two got mildly singed by mildly creepy people got turned into something like the Cancon LSD trip monster horror soap opera "Strange Paradise."

I also explained why this all had to be. Simply put, someone who's good with figures needs to be handy to make sure that after John dies, Elly doesn't blow the insurance money in the first few minutes and wind up dying in a gutter someplace. That someone is Anthony Caine. Since she's been bullshitted into feeling sorry for him and being grateful for 'saving' Lizardbreath from the stigma of sleeping around with Eric, she'll listen to his advice a lot more readily that she'd listen to the same advice from Mike's paymaster/wife Deanna.

As it was with Mike and the Housening, the imperative would be to keep April from knowing what was going on until after she was old enough not to blab. No one involved wants the poor kid to talk her way into becoming Eunice from "Mama's Family" because she doesn't understand the stakes. When she's been around the block a bit, it'll be safe to clue her in to the fact that she's the sibling assigned the job of having a life free of a potato-nosed bundle of aggression and ingratitude.
Tags: the great foob conspiracy

  • Meet The Human Shield.

    The very distressing thing about the Great Big Sham Wedding is that as far as anyone knows, Liz has no God-damned idea that she took part in a sham…

  • Attention and initiative two: Mikelectric Lizzaloo.

    As we know, Elly never managed to disabuse herself of the notion that Mike's job is to take care of Lizzie for her. She's never going to admit that…

  • The inept teacher quandary.

    It doesn't take much brainpower to have to realize that John and Elly's 'support' as regards homework consisted mostly of berating their children…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.