dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

What the Patterson women never learned about the Anthonys.

Of course, the problem is not just that John and Mike and Anthony are repellent clods who view women as prizes to be awarded them for being 'nice', children to be corrected, servants to guide and passive beneficiaries of their niceness. The problem is that no seems to have sat Elly and the rest of the female cast down and explained certain things about how not nice it is to be in a relationship with a Nice Guy™. As by way of example, no one seems to have seen fit to warn Elizabeth that Anthony's fantasy of her being a passive, unconscious OBJECT needing rescue by his groovy self is a warning that he's a dick of the lowest sort and needs to be avoided at all costs. Just as John loves the happy, contented homebody who'd never dream of deserting her family by chasing after the misguiding star of an identity of her own he's going to die thinking he can make Elly into instead of the person she is, Anthony loves not a rather confused woman who never knew what she wanted but a fantasy projection that meets his needs.

We move on from the socialistic ideal that a man is somehow magically owed a woman to decorate his life and show what a groovy dude he is (despite the fact that no one is God-damned owed anything just for being alive....especially not another person) and if the woman somehow rejects him that she is evil for breaking a covenant (hi, there, Martha and Rhetta) that says that despite what she might want, he is entitled to her because, well, she has no say in the matter to the next stupid problem: blaming the decorative object that men are entitled to so as to demonstrate their male prowess for male stupidity. Five bucks says that when Elly is accusing the series of attractive women unfortunate enough to catch John's eyes of wanting him to ogle them, he agrees with her. It's not that he's a raging satyr with the impulse control of a monkey on amphetamines, it's that the girl in the miniskirt is conspiring with his THROBBING BIOLOGICAL IMPULSES to ruin him. Similarly, it's not that Anthony slept-walked his way into a crappy and damaging starter marriage with another neurotic mess, he was tricked by a vixen because someone is responsible for his missing virility.

This, you see, is the crux of the matter. Underneath the passive body language and two-for-flinching posture Anthony adopts is a raging asshole who thinks that society is trying to punish him for being male because he can't tolerate being told "No, Anthony/John/Michael/Phil, you CAN'T whip out your weenie no matter how good you might feel....we're in Church and that's frowned upon." Since said cruel, horrible and cruel orders to accept the 'castration' of self-discipline damned near always came from Mother, the yapping little snot who resented not being allowed to masturbate like a wild monkey whenever he God-damned felt like it has declared war on 'feminization' to protect helpless males like himself from....nothing.

This is the final irony. Anthony was holding all the cards in his first marriage and he still feels like a helpless little boy because once, a long time ago, someone in a skirt told him that there were things he couldn't do. It doesn't matter that he's got a whole damned town lined up behind him any more than the fact that the Pattersons have effectively shut Mira and her family politics out of their lives when they bitch about her winning all the time. Since he's not able to reconcile "collection of body parts put on the Earth to service him" with "someone he oughta nut up and listen to", he feels like he's backed into a corner when he's in near-absolute control of the situation because the truth would make him not a nice person.
Tags: death to nice guys(tm)

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