dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

On strange potties and devil children.

Now that we're in the middle of yet another "Annie's children are devil creatures" arc, let's remind us of what it is that makes Richard a monster who is monstrous. As we're about to see, what went wrong is that in her haste to do whatever, Annie didn't just forget to do some housework. She also forgot that Richard had a severe case of shy bladder and would react with panicky rage at the scary prospect of using an unfamiliar potty. While this would be a minor inconvenience for normal people, any student of the Pattersons would know right off that they'd make a complete botch of things.

First off, we have to deal with Mister King Train Loving Dentist Man and his bad attitude about the whole project. It seemed almost karmic that a pompous buffoon whining about the horrible horror of him, John Patterson, being COMMANDED by an infant who should have been forced to man up and use a strange commode to break into a locked house and grab onto a potty like a fool be held by the fuzz on a breaking and entering beef. Watching the dreary moron wail like the idiot he is about how everyone is actually laughing at him would almost be a source of pleasure were it not a reminder that he thinks that being laughed at is a sign that he's weak and bad and weak but also that anyone who inconveniences him is clearly out to destroy him.

This leads us to the real problem: the inability (or, more properly, refusal) of the Pattersons to admit that there isn't always a bad guy who wants to hurt them because they hate them when something bad happens. You and I see a frightened child who doesn't and can't know what the results of his panicky refusal to go where he doesn't want to go are. John sees a monster who wants to see him with his pants down because the alternative is really scary. John needs to see monster children who want to defy him and make him a slave to their cruel drama because the idea of well-meaning children who don't want to hurt him but still make good-faith mistakes means that instead of a reasonable, calm and cool straight-shooter, he's a thin-skinned, vain and hostile mess picking on people for the unworthy reason of making him look bad.
Tags: john needs vitamin stfu, the ritalin twins

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