dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

On still not listening to herself.

Now, as you know, Elly and John love to stand around and lecture the kids about how much the three of them owe their parents for doing them all those favors (feeding, clothing and housing them) that they shouldn't really have to do because the kids have so much energy to waste playing, they can easily do a grown man's job. The problem is that they don't remember saying so. What happens seems to be a direct result of how malleable human memory is. How it starts is that after they listen to their words, they tell themselves that anger made them say something that they didn't really mean. As time goes on, what they meant to say becomes what they say because they want to remember themselves as not sounding like vermin.

The reason that I mention this is that Elly is unaware that most of the reason that Lizzie is incapacitated by the need to call herself ugly and unlovable and so on and so forth comes not from television but from copying her mother. Since Elly frets about her looks all the time and is miserable for it, Lizzie comes to the conclusion that the reason she's always feeling like an outsider has to do less with being a stand-offish, timid little thing who's too immature and frightened to be the center of attention and more with having a stoopid nose.

The reason Elly blames fashion magazines, Candace and evil, conflict-causing men for a problem she created is that she can never remember that she's always hated her looks and always moaned about she was too fat, pale and homely to deserve to be loved. Since she can't remember being filled with self-hatred, she doesn't see herself as being part of a problem she thinks someone else's fault.
Tags: elly on her cross
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