First off, it doesn't take a genius to realize that most people don't see Elly as any sort of tragic figure any more than they see her as a role model or a leader. What most normal people see when they look at her is a fractious imbecile who consoles herself with the foolish belief that it's a good thing that she berates her children nonstop for disappointing her and her asshole husband. Watching her parade around like Deputy Dawg deciding if and when and for how long her children can be allowed to 'invade' their own home only confirms the belief that she's a bellicose and fragile nitwit who doesn't know what she's doing.
Second, she's too blasted stupid to realize or admit to herself that Michael remembered every last hateful word she spouts about how her life would be a lot simpler without some needy kid who can't do anything right and seems to want non-stop attention and always argues with her when he should admit that he can NEVER be right about anything. What this means is that she can never understand why he thinks that everything she does is part of a campaign to keep him from being happy because she hates him and yearns to hear his cries of pain. Her need to bar him from his own home is not thus the desperate act of a stupid woman who can't cope with distractions any more than she can understand kids, it's a deliberate way of reminding him that he doesn't matter.