dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

The other thing booming in the childrens' ears....

As we all know, John and Elly are probably sitting in the Pattermanse staring at one another trying to find something to say to one another in order to not have to endure the unearthly quiet that they used to believe was an unachievable but desirable goal. While John's reasons for, as he put it, creatively expressing himself were that he wanted to sleep after a hard day of straining the bad back that he probably got from his dad, Elly simply cannot abide things that break the silence needed for her bullshit creative trance of churning out drivel.

The reason that I mention this is that there have been any number of strips that preach the gospel of how headsets were invented by evil, conflict-causing, parent hating single people for the sole purpose of allowing children to defy parental authority by blocking out the loving words of their caring, inoffensive and almost defenseless parents with evil headache music. The problem is that in a sense, Elly is dead on about the headsets blocking out an insistent noise that always gets in the way of the children concentrating on a task. This distraction of all distractions exceeding all others has the following physical attributes:



  • Said irritant barges into rooms at random to chatter witlessly about things she knows little about.

  • She's convinced that she's ten pounds overweight owing to an optical illusion caused by the poor posture that she doesn't believe herself to have.

  • Her favourite debating technique involves jabbing her finger into the air and screaming about how everyone wants to silence her.

That's right. I went there and brought back some souvenirs. Most of what the kids want to drown out is Elly's stupid habit of blathering non-stop about what they're doing wrong. Having to listen to her rattle on about things she doesn't know about and how in her day, she was able to do the much lighter load of homework she had without taxing her brain cell or badgering them about meals when they're trying to keep the flow going is a real nuisance that they aren't really allowed to do anything about.

That being said, it's sort of obvious that now that Elly has the silence and tidy life she wanted, she has no idea what to do with her free time because of her not having to have anything to be angry about or martyred by. Perhaps it's finally occurring to her that when she heard April and Lizzie repeating back all the belligerent nonsense she spouted that it wasn't a sign that she was doing things right. That's the ironic thing about silence: she has no choice but to listen to that 'evil' voice that tells her that she's being a goof.
Tags: elly patterson: universal imbecile.
Subscribe

  • Meet The Human Shield.

    The very distressing thing about the Great Big Sham Wedding is that as far as anyone knows, Liz has no God-damned idea that she took part in a sham…

  • Attention and initiative two: Mikelectric Lizzaloo.

    As we know, Elly never managed to disabuse herself of the notion that Mike's job is to take care of Lizzie for her. She's never going to admit that…

  • The inept teacher quandary.

    It doesn't take much brainpower to have to realize that John and Elly's 'support' as regards homework consisted mostly of berating their children…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments