- Howard Bunt grabs Liz's shirt and has his ears tweaked by the blandest goof in the cast.
- Therese stands around fuming as her husband gazes wistfully at his high-school girlfriend.
- Mike and his family walk away from an apartment fire virtually unharmed.
- Mike's mother-in-law criticizes the way he and his wife are raising their children.
- Elly can't make up her mind about firing an employee who's stealing from her.
- The Pattersons move house without taking their teenaged daughter's sentimental attatchment to the place into account.
- April's special needs pseudo-friend has to endure tame insults from able-bodied outcasts.
- Another member of her lame-ass garage band wants to turn pro.
The last real menace I've seen was six or so years ago: Jeremy Jones. If he hadn't been hit by a car, he would have kicked the living shit out of April as an indirect way of punishing his dad for leaving him to become a pro musician. That, sadly, was the last real danger the Pattersons faced. There was a time in this proud land that Elly and her family faced genuine risks. For some reason, however, Lynn decided that that was unacceptable. The Pattersons, it seemed, had suffered enough. From that point on, it would be zits and vacuuming all the way. The problem with with the tension-free life they live is that it makes it next to impossible to root for them because you already know they're gonna win through.