dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

On mixed emotions about aging.

Of course, there's a rather obvious reason why it is that Elly fears the inevitable process of turning into a reasonable facsimile of Marian that's not related to her generalized fear of age, decrepitude and death. While it's true that Elly wasted a lot of her time and energy being a crappy photostat of Marian as a parent in a doomed effort to gain approval from someone who should have had "A son is a son until he takes a wife but a daughter's a daughter for the rest of her life" chiseled on her grave marker, there is something about Marian's life AND death that repulses her: the fact that she seemed to be content to be described as the mere appendage of a man and thus seemed to have no problem with dying without an identity of her own and having contributed nothing of merit to the human endeavor.

This, as I've said before, is owing to Elly and Lynn's inability to understand the phrase "They also serve, those who only stand and wait." The idea of doing things without expecting a medal or a ticker tape parade or any sort of public acknowledgement horrified Elly because she's got it in her head that if people can't see her do things, said things are worthless. This means that the more she looks like her mom, the closer she is to dying an unheralded death in which it will only occur to people that they should have done more for her twenty years after she died. Given her self-pity and John's unfailing ability to ruin moments, it's obvious that genuine praise will never be seen as such because while she doesn't know what she wants out of life, it's clear she deserves more than she has. Looking and acting like Marian means settling for less so is gross-buckets.
Tags: elly versus the passage of time

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