dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Elly and Deanna: Daughters of mothers who do too much

It seems fairly obvious to me why John doesn't think he should have gotten involved in domestic situations; his father didn't do that with him and, in his estimation, he turned out pretty well. Since Doctor Patterson is a member of what Nixon called the Silent Majority and what Ellison calls the Monkeymass, it never occurred to him that his dad was too exhausted by his job in the mine to be anything more than Mister Last Resort. The virtues John champions were born of a necessity that no longer exists for a lot of people. Since Father is no longer too tired to help out with the housework, his insistence that Mother is designed for it and he is not rings increasingly hollow. This explains why he has his head in the sand. Elly is an ostrich of different plumage. There's a good reason why she identifies so strongly with Deanna: both of them had mothers who were too vigilant for their liking. Like Marian before her, Mira criticizes the way her daughter raises her grandchildren. She also spoils said children over her daughter's objection. Both daughters feel a bit of contempt towards their father for not standing up to Monster Mommy and bot moved away from her as quickly as they could. Both Deanna and Elly think that children should be left to their own devices because they lack the initiative to get into mischief and both are constantly shocked to find that's not the case. Both women married men who don't really care about the kids unless they can have fun. Both women have convinced themselves otherwise. The primary difference I can see is that Deanna won't be there when Mira passes on; having her kids contemplate death is too depressing.
Tags: child rearing disasters, one big oblivious family

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