dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

On trumpets, never being asked anything and bad grades.

As we know, the Pattersons seem never to want to realize that a child's first and best teachers are his or her parents because doing so makes something they don't like their fault. This means that they don't acknowledge the very real fact that Michael's bad grades aren't just because they have better things to do than go over math homework with him. While it's easy-peasy to see the defects John brings to the table, his tendency towards impatience, mockery and just plain hating to interact with his children when it isn't amusing would be mitigated by having a wife who knew what she was doing. Elly doesn't know what she's doing and here's a list of the factors that sabotage Michael's academic career.

  1. Favoritism: As we all know, most of the reason Mike and Liz fought like scorpions is that Elly witlessly pitted them against each other by not only insisting that Mike lose on purpose every damned time to make Lizzie feel good but by not noticing that her default habit of braying about the cute little things the baby did while ignoring what Mike can do tended to do a number on his self-image. The idea that seems to have formed is that since hard work didn't get results, it was an unproductive waste of time.
  2. Paranoid Thinking: It also didn't help matters much that Elly is convinced that every damned little thing she doesn't like is part of a deliberate campaign to ruin her life. Bellowing in his face that she'd gladly have had more children if it weren't for the fact that Mike is a horrible, selfish monster might feel good when she's doing it but all it does is set him up to oppose every damned interest she has. It also acts to destroy any sort of trust in authority figures later on because no one can ever be pleased so why bother?
  3. Hypocrisy: As I said the last time I listed why she's the cause of Mike's failings, she might talk a great game about having a good work ethic but Mike is a bad child who does the horrible thing of remembering that he gets his tendency to make a little thing into a big thing that he can't do from her.
  4. Obliviousness: The same Elly who fails to realize that she is doing less than nothing to reassure Phil that she won't tank his career because she's inept and stupid can't wrap her head around the fact that her own whining about how haaaaard math is enables Mike's belief that numbers were made to humiliate him.
  5. Stupidity: This leads us to the biggest of the elephants in the living room: Elly's too blasted stupid to realize that her belief that if she were to encourage Mike in the least, he'd become a spoiled monster who expects a pat on the head for breathing has the effect of making her look like an uncaring monster who delights in his pain.


We can thus safely add "I send my child upstairs to do homework without help and his grades are an embarrassment" to the list of cause-and-effect scenarios her pea brain cannot process.
Tags: elly patterson: universal imbecile.
Subscribe

  • All we are saying is "Give hate a chance."

    The interesting thing about watching Elly over the years is that it becomes almost immediately obvious that her favourite form of recreation is…

  • On the only acceptable complicated love life.

    Of course, there is one exception to the otherwise ironclad rule against not maintaining perfect fidelity to one's assigned Longed-For One: the…

  • The Pattervandals.

    The interesting thing about the Pattersons' habit of thinking that they have to avenge themselves on people who they judge as deserving it is not…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments