dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

The Liz-Gordon quandary.

As we know, Elly sort of succeeded in her campaign to protect Mike from making the horrible mistake of being talked into dropping out of junior high so he could marry Martha (yes, that's what she still believes because she's as crazy as a shit-house rat) and have babies that she and John would have to care of because some old dimwit made the horrible mistake of feeding into Mike's paranoia as to how everyone he meets has a plan to only pretend to like him so they can later mock him for daring to be wanting to be happy too. Despite his aunt trying to talk something like sense into him, the sullen oaf used Gordon as a sort of proxy to tell her off for not caring only to find out that she choked because she was too intimidated by his delicate genius to dare send him a letter lest she think less of her. After Mike rushes off to apologize to her for acting like the dumbass he's always going to be, Lizzie comes in and asks Gordon why he's apologizing to someone who done him wrong; the interesting part is that Gordon does not explain the situation to Liz in the least but instead whines about how he wishes he were lucky enough to have a girl to jerk HIM around.

The reason that I told you all that is that Gordon would later on repeat someone else's self-serving bullshit as to why he has nothing to fight for; what's more, he does so for much the same reason. As I've said before, it's sort of obvious that like most of the male characters, the existence of any woman who doesn't immediately turn into a baby-loving domestic angel when she gives birth is an existential threat to Gordon's existence because by her presence, Therese summons forth the grim spectre of a bunch of knuckle-dragging yokels being absogoddamnedly totally bloody clueless about fifty percent of the human race. To this end, he carefully staged event after event where the horrible menace to his world-view was ambushed by the unwelcome presence of a pallid ninny who could never get it through her thick skull that she was being used by a jackass to help his benefactor and save himself from having to admit that he doesn't have the least idea of what's going on in a woman's mind. The sad thing about this is that the stupid ape is regarded as a wonderful friend by someone who keeps from her a secret she has every right to know about the weddings for heart and for show.
Tags: gordo, lizardbreath: complete dunderhead

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