dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

The 2017 wall calendar: an Amazonian catfish wild guess.

As we now know, the 2016 wall calendar is going to be devoted to Lynn's hatred of the noisy toys that she would have found distracting as all Hell as a parent. From her wanting to straight-up murder the lovely person who gave her the plastic middle finger called a corn-popper to her baying at the moon about the havoc Evil Mira wreaked with her evil bouncy ball of beeping, we're going to get a lot of passive-aggressive sniping at children. Given that the current year's effort is devoted to her active hatred of being subjected to the same bullshit she made her parents suffer when she was a teenager, it seems only natural to assume that 2017 would be a means of reminding who ever still cares about the Pattersons that there's something she hates and by Damn, they are going to hear about it.

An upcoming Sunday strip in which Farley is bad and wrong and selfish because for some reason, he behaves as if he doesn't understand the English language provides me with an idea of what that subject matter will be: a year of Elly getting slowly unglued because she's an inept pet owner who won't admit that the creature she wasted years of her life screaming at or bargaining with had no idea what she was saying and never could. What shines through all of her interaction with the poor animal is that he had to be tormented not only by stupid children who thought he was a toy but also by a stupid woman who never understood that no matter how sincere she was, she was always going to be pounding sand in a rathole trying to talk her way into getting Farley to do what he wanted. Even in the kid's book that had him look for the bone, it was made obvious that while John, Lizzie and Mike understood how he behaved, Elly had no idea and didn't care to learn. Since we're supposed to be on the side of the ignorant idiot doing something futile, the poor pooch is in for another posthumous scraping.
Tags: amazonian catfish tinfoil hat, elly patterson: universal imbecile., farley: chew toy of fate

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