dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

The failed fishing trip as deciding factor in the Settlepocalypse.

As we all know, it's been about a month or two since the search-and-rescue people took John and Phil away from Unnecessary Hardship Island after the end of a series of self-induced disasters. As we also know, John and Elly don't think that Paul would have been 'there' for Liz when she 'needed' him and was from a different world anyhow and Warren was too 'nomadic' to be a really suitable mate for their little girl. While it might be stretching it to connect "John thinking that he almost died because he went without food for three days because it never occurred to him or his idiot brother in law to walk around the island to see how close the mainland was" to rejecting anyone who isn't the sunken-chested, humorless and whining drone they love, I think that the Road to the Settlepocalypse started with John being given stupid directions by an imbecile with a scrub brush mustache.

This is because of the stupid lesson John derived from his made-up and self-induced humiliating catastrophe is that adventure is dangerous and bad because a bone-head was mildly inconvenienced owing to his own rock-headed stupidity. Oh, he might pretty it up by saying that kids have to sow their wild oats before joining sober adult society but the fear of the wilds is too strong in him to trust them.

That being said, we cannot overlook the fact that men like Warren and Paul who can thrive in the scary, scary woods quite well makes him feel inadequate and stupid....especially since they humiliate him by saying things like "all that was wrong with you was a panicky imbecile brother in law who had you hunker down like an idiot and a lack of food." Since Anthony would also feebly die within inches of rescue, he's the man for Liz.
Tags: john patterson: confused philosopher, settlepocalypse

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