dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

The way the things (don't) work.

Not only is our author have unaddressed rage issues and a twisted love with the more worthless values of her upbringing, she seems to have definite trouble with reality. Her handling of the Noble Scribe's literary career is the most obvious expression of her smug un-realism. First, we have him, at the august old age of 30, as SENIOR editor for a national magazine.What's more, not only has he held this important job for three years, he's also turning in the odd free-lance piece AND about to become the author of a best-seller. All of this is perfectly credible in Foobland but, sadly, not in the real world normal human beings live in. He'd still be a staff writer or at most junior editor. The only way any major publishing company would put a member of the Diaper Patrol like Mikerobe at the helm of ANYTHING is if they were to going to end publication and needed a fall guy. Anyway, did he EARN the job in the first place? Heck, no! He just happened to be standing around in the building after a corporate witch-hunt. The owners just went up to the first schmuck they saw and handed him a fat contract, which doesn't happen in the real world. Let's also examine his riveting expose of the illiterate cartoon trolls who live downstairs from him. He certainly didn't think they'd mind because he didn't think (since they were crouching bumpkins) they'd know. He and Lynn saw it as a misunderstood comic triumph. They don't understand people when they refer to this fluffy piece of whimsy as a callous and arrogant act of mischief. They also thought the victimsphilistines downstairs were awfully poor sports. The ingrates should have been thrilled they were being cruelly mocked by a smug, narcissistic cretin immortalized in print by a delicate genius. As for his piece of crap novel, the only plausible reason the publishing company would have for giving him that unfeasibly large check is if the school boards of English-speaking North America rose up en masse and demanded a new God-awful, turgid, vomit-inducing horror to antagonize high-school English classes. His home-life is equally incredible, because with two paychecks and all the cash he's raking in for his freelance idiocy, they still can't afford decent accommodations. I guess he's too refined to bother budgeting his money properly and as for Dedoormat, pull her string and she'll say 'Math is Hard.' He ain't the only Foob whose day-to-day existence is hippo-eats-dwarf impossible. The only way his sister Elizabeth's life is credible is if she's very, very vain and very, very stupid. In fact, all the major players live lives that clash horribly with what you and I call reality. Not only do we have a family that's totally off the wall, they're complete jerks too. Lynn makes a big noise about these ghouls being solid, respectable citizens and pillars of the community when, in fact, we have a squalid collection of no-accounts, bullies and twits. I'd be inclined to absolve her if she were being ironic and actually saying 'Get a load of these shitheads' but every interview I've every seen indicates she actually sees them as the clean-cut role models she says they are.
Tags: lynn versus the real world

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