dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

John through his patient's eyes.

To continue merrily on with my return to the theme that the Pattersons look very different when viewed through other people's eyes, let's take a look at how John's patients would have to see him. It seems to me that we can safely divide them into two categories based on age. If you're twenty, you're going to be dealing with Oblivious Oaf Doctor Patterson. This version of him spends most of his free time blathering to his assistants about his whiny refusal to understand that his wife's feeling as if her house is a maximum security prison isn't due to weird woman hormones making her want an independence she shouldn't want because it would inconvenience a boorish clod with stupid goggles on his smug, stupid face. It annoys you that you might as well be an engine block this hamster is working on for all he cares about your feelings.

That being said, you should be glad you're an adult; this is because your misery would be multiplied by a factor of ten when you're a child in the presence of the mighty John. We have twenty-nine years of evidence that John has no curiosity as to why children do what they do, no patience for anything other than instant and unquestioning obedience, empathy for children inconvenienced by his stupidity or tolerance for children who think for themselves and he isn't going to change simply because someone is paying him to tolerate their sons and daughters. Much as fellow child-incompatible asshole Phil uses the adjective 'treacherous' to describe children who, through factors he feels no need to take into consideration, do not focus all their mental capital on obeying the whims of a highly-strung perfectionist, John looks at an anxious child terrified of having some maniac jam things into her mouth and sees a pointlessly recalcitrant brat because the alternative is that her dentist is an unfeeling lump of shit.
Tags: john patterson: complete monster, john versus knowing his family

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