First off, we have to remember when graceless slob Lizardbreath got in a big, stupid huff because she wasn't allowed to parade around a party where a visibly pregnant Therese was present. In her haste to emote about how terrible it is that she can't make an ugly spectacle of herself and pretty much stick her tongue out at someone who's mean to her for reasons she'd rather not face, she stupidly fell on her arse on a patch of ice. A fair minded person would think "Therese had nothing to do with my getting my bowels in an uproar and slipping on the ice because I was too angry to think." A jerk would think "Here we go again! Everybody heap scorn on Liz the MONSTER who wants to shit all over a pregnant woman. My ass can be broken and I get no sympathy because I'm supposed to beg for scraps all my life and like it." A crazy person would do what Liz did and stand around making inane comments about how Therese used her evil mind power to make her slip and fall because she doesn't want to admit that she's insanely jealous of anyone having a better time than she is.
While April might have possibly called Liz on that, she's also capable of nutty thinking as is evidenced by her reaction to the mild success of Becky. If she were honest with herself, April would admit that she's simply insanely jealous of Becky because she is desperately insecure; Becky's pretty face and greater prestige starts Apes to thinking that maybe the reason no one seems to want to be around her is that she ain't worth being around. If she were more of a jerk, she'd have told Jim that he's God-damned right she's jealous of Becky because the band was her idea. If she doesn't like whamming a tambourine and looking stupid so April can feel like a winner for once, tough shit. A crazy person would do what April did and talk about wars and how Becky is trying to crush people with her star power.
As for Mike, we have to remember how he made a dog's breakfast of doing a puff piece on Divala. The article he wanted to write was neither required nor expected and Divala got angry and wanted him to stuff his ego up his ass. If Mike were capable of decency, he'd admit that he was just angry at Divala because he hated to remember that he was still paying my dues like everyone else. The bitter jerk he is couldn't decide if he was mad because he hates to see his articles edited despite the fact that he's kinda not in charge or if Divala was clearly trying to ruin him because he's a fricking nutloaf who doesn't want to be reminded that he's also a toxic egomaniac.
Of course, the epitome of insane reasoning was when Elly lost her mind because she wanted to save Mike from being killed by the police by dressing as a dumb kid's idea of what a punk rocker looked like. If she were capable of sweet reason, she'd have admitted that she was just pissed that Mike is deciding things on his own and she has a tough time letting go. The angry jerk in her is angry because rejecting her input makes it feel like she's being rejected. Since she cannot say what she really thinks without someone calling her a vain halfwit, she says something insane about how Mike had turned his back on happiness and kindness and goodness because of the atom bomb like a lunatic.
Simply put, the Pattersons as a rule give a crazy reason for what they do to protect themselves from having to admit that they're angry, selfish people who are mostly out for themselves. This means that their guardian spirits (whom yellojkt calls the Bad Idea Foobs) are none other than The Ghosts of Benedict Arnold and the Great Big Hot Dog from Team Fortress 2.