dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

The apology paradox

I should think that at some point in the conversation Elly will be having when she's sixty-five, she's going to be wondering her children find it so hard to admit when they've screwed up. As by way of example, we have to remember that when Liz points out that Mike seems to live to hurt her feelings, the venomous ponce turns things around her and says that she also hurt his feelings so he doesn't really have to apologize for being a messed-up freak filled with envy and hatred. She also seems to be praying for the day when her kids apologize to her for having emotional needs that took time away from her feeling sorry for herself. The problem with this is that Elly's inability to pick her battles has deprived her of far too much but she won't admit it because admitting error to her 'lessers' is seen as a sign of weakness.

What this all means is that yet again, Elly's inability (or, more correctly, refusal) to understand how those around her think failed her. Most people at least try growing out of the limiting assumption that everyone around them sees the world exactly as they do but Elly never did. She sees someone acting in a way she would not and assumes sight unseen that they're just pretending ignorance and confusion to antagonize her. Since she can't really empathize with those around them because she can't put themselves in their shoes, she can't teach her children that other people have feelings that can be hurt. Combine this with the paranoid belief that every hand that isn't surrendering things to them is raised against them and you get a bunch of brats who can only feel satisfaction in the pain of others.
Tags: elly at 65

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