dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Favor banking and family politics.

Now to get back to the fantasy conversation Elly will have with Connie when she turns sixty-five, it's pretty much a certainty that she's going to complain about how long it took for the children to do nice things for her and John. Since Connie has issues of her own with her own family, the surly comment about how Elly and John were owed nice things because they did the kids the great big favor of not leaving them out on an ice floe at the first sign of defiance wash right over her. It's not going to really occur to someone transfixed by the need to gain the approval of a cadaver that John and Elly are constitutionally incapable of doing anything without expecting things in return.

As I mentioned, the manifestation of what someone smarter than I am called the 'favor bank' system of morality is John and Elly's hateful, antisocial need to remind their children that they are somehow freeloading off of them because two self-centred and greedy idiots would rather not admit that Mike, Lizzie and April can't survive on their own until they're pretty much adults any more than they can admit that if they're going to create their own people, they have a duty of care that must be fulfilled without complaint. They owe society solid citizens instead of the freakish jerks they've blighted the world with.

This is because, as I've said before, the end result of their insisting on being paid back with interest is to burden the world with children deeply suspicious of true generosity. Mike cannot process the idea of simply being given something out of the goodness of his mother-in-law's heart and assumes that a wife with mother issues as crippling as his own is trying to cheat him somehow. After all, when he does do good things, he's told it either took too long or wasn't enough so Mira must be playing family politics lest his own family be regarded as being anything less than ideal.
Tags: john and elly fail parenting forever

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