dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Son of Foob.

To continue on with my look at the Pattersons as background characters in someone else's story, let's see how Mike would look if you don't have to look at him all the time. Back about thirty years ago, he really wasn't that much more than Generic Scruffy Little Boy. Every neighborhood ever has always had a herd of scruffy little boys wandering around getting into mischief and being yelled at by their mothers. Of course, when you looked closer, you figured out he was that figure Seinfeld calls 'the pathetic friend' whose job it was to be talked into dares and be treated like crap by (surprise, surprise) the crazy idiot that dentist married. He and his siblings were expected to wander around outside until all hours so that she could sit on her ass and complain about how terrible it was to have children underfoot all of the time.

His pathetic nature seemed to extend to school as he used to be a terrible student, an annoying idiot who spent most of his time playing the fool so as to get someone to pay attention to him and a boorish clod who got talked into dares by kids who delighted in his gullibility. While he was one of the first kids to seem to have a crush, he was also the first in his group to take his girl for granted and get dumped. After a while, he moved away from home only to come back to stay for some reason.

This is where his new image seems to have formed. That's because for the same mysterious reason that he decided to camp out in his parents' house after the fire nine years ago, he managed to talk them into moving to the Stibbs place while he took over. It was like they were giving him the family farm or some damned thing just to make sure that the house overlooking the ravine was kept as a shrine to graceless living. Back in the eighties, his crazy mother used to have him, his siblings and that stupid mutt wandering around cratering the property values. Now, he has crap all over the lawn that he's too stupid and silly to pick up and a wife who's too spineless to do anything but applaud his being a disgrace.
Tags: background pattersons

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