dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

The untold story of April's university years.

As we all know, the Pattersons really don't like to lend people money if they can at all avoid it. They seem deeply suspicious of generosity because they fear being taken advantage of and, well, have the sort of favor bank mentality that is at war with the very idea of being generous in the first place. This is why when Mike and Liz were in university, they grumbled about how just floating the kids a loan to tide them over would mean that they wouldn't learn the value of a dollar. They also complained that since their parents couldn't afford to do certain things, the fact that they could shouldn't really mean much and, as always, witlessly complained about how the dollar doesn't stretch as far when it's not being spent on their needs.

Now, take that tendency to witlessly begrudge children money based on the fact that their parents couldn't pay their way through life and add in the fact that they're now a bunch of old soaks who don't want the young to latch on to the money they magically deserve for living to be sixty and apply it to the fact that without an allowance, April would have to work two jobs and subsist on ramen and canned spaghetti to get through university. While Mike and Liz complained about how their course work got in the way of getting gooned at the local tavern, April's social life clearly consisted of "wake up, attend classes, get to work, study, fall asleep, get woken up at an absurd hour to endure witless phone calls about partying on Mommy and Daddy's dime, get two hours sleep, lather, rinse, repeat." This 'getting woken up' bit will, of course, be based on the fact that since John and Elly drank themselves stupid, April has to be because that's just what college kids do.

Of course, it won't just be John and Elly who, despite what their treacherous, lying and wrong eyes and ears tell them, insist that someone working herself to death because her idiot parents cut off the flow of money to save her from being a spendthrift is the mindless party girl Liz was. Mike and Liz will also insist on this as well as engaging in the angry denial of the obvious fact that when Pattersons play family politics, the Martian is meant to lose and love it. The Pattersons don't want to admit that they've assigned April the role of black sheep because her presence mildly inconvenienced them because they don't want to admit that they haven't the blindest idea who she is and can't be stirred to care. Not having a clue who people are seems to be a thing amongst boomer asshole parents and it's currently rocking Nancy DeGroot's world. More on that tomorrow. 
Tags: anyone wanna buy a used future?, boomer lens-cap stupidity
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